First of all, if the title doesn’t make much sense, please read it again in an African accent with extra emphasis on the word so. You’re welcome.
I’ve been single for a long time, my whole life to be precise. This is due to a number of reasons but the main one being that there are so many other things I feel my youth should be focussed on; guys are not high up on this list right now and they never have been. This does not mean however, that they never will be, they just aren’t for the time being. Cleared that up? Okay, cool.
So now I have a few questions for you:
Why is it, that if I am sad about something, you jump to the conclusion that my singleness is the root cause???
Why is it difficult to understand that my singleness does not upset me???
Why is it so difficult to understand that maybe I am just not ready???
And finally, why does my singleness offend you more than it does me???
What bothers me the most about the people that question my status is that surprisingly, these are the people that are either in relationships they don’t want to be in or… wait for it… are single themselves!
I could end this post right here. I think I’ve made my point. My relationship status is my choice. My plans for my life are my choice (well partly, God is in control but you know what I mean). I won’t sit here and tell you that I’m waiting for the right one because the truth is: I’m not waiting for anyone. A relationship is not a concern of mine at this point in my life and that shouldn’t be anyone’s problem.
I know a lot of girls like me with a similar upbringing that have been warned against guys for their entire life and as soon as their family realise that graduation is knocking on the door, they question why a potential husband isn’t knocking too. Fortunately for me, I don’t have such pressure from my family, but I can understand how frustrating this must be for those who do.
I have achieved a great amount for myself in my single years, I’ll never know if being in a relationship would have made things worse or better. All I do know is that I have had so much time to focus on me and I’m grateful for that.
If relationships are your thing, go for it, just don’t put pressure on your single friends- this applies whether or not they are happy about being single because nobody should go into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship: this is selfish. Selfishness in a relationship isn’t advisable, but what do I know? *sips Caramel Macchiato*.
I know that at this time of year, a lot of people, single people, start feel like they’re missing out on something, or not good enough to participate in the joys that many are preparing for. If you opened this up hoping for some advice on how to enjoy your single years, I’m sorry that I don’t have any; but there are so many other girls that have so much knowledge to share, have a read here. What I can say is that focusing on yourself will probably be the best decision you can make, both in and out of a relationship and as my mother always says:
“There is a time for everything” Ecclesiastes 3:1
Please also remember that being single doesn’t equate to being alone. Being in a relationship will not always cure your loneliness. Be with someone for the right reasons, sometimes that someone is you.
More S/Os as promised to Dan, Izzi, Jack & Timmy!