“Everything happens for a reason”: words spoken during your most desperate hour amidst sweet lies uttered to soothe your soul.
Engulfed in Frustration, Embarrassment, Agony and Regret, sometimes “a reason” can make the struggle worthwhile. “A reason” is the oxygen tank when you’re suffocated in confusion and this “reason” keeps your breaths steady when guilt creeps into your dreams.
We have a tendency to want to believe that everything in life has a purpose, including ourselves, and so even when things don’t make sense, we force them to just for the sake of temporary comfort. We numb our unwanted emotions with this drug called purpose and even get our loved ones to fuel our addiction when ‘coping’ starts to once again seem like a distant memory. After all, experience is the greatest teacher and experience comes every day whether we want it or not, so surely there are lessons attached.
But why settle for Ms Trunchbull when you can have Ms Honey?
Take a minute to forget that “everything happens for a reason” and think about some of the horrible things that have happened to you. Were these experiences necessary?
Is it necessary to lose in order to gain?
Is it necessary to fall in order to rise?
Is it necessary to fail in order to succeed?
I started questioning and calculating how many possibilities there were that I could end up as the exact person I am today without all of the heartache and trauma. Was all of that suffering a part of God’s plan for me? Were these experiences crucial to making me, me? Buried in such questions, it was a lot easier to accept that everything did, in fact, happen for a reason!
For years I was bound by such reasons, but how foolish to be a slave to something other than the master. Phrases have a habit burying themselves into the deep soil of generations, being planted and harvested over and over to the point that they disguise themselves as biblical sayings. The truth is that my master, God, the author of the Bible, never uttered such words. So as a believer, where does this leave me?
Confused is where I first found myself. I can admit now that maybe believing that “everything happens for a reason” was simply a childish coping mechanism; a form of resistance to accepting two somewhat harsh realities.
1: Life is tough- it can be cruel and unfair
2: Life is its own being- we can’t completely control it and we can never fully understand it
I resided in confusion for a long ass time!
Reason: the capacity for consciously making sense of things or applying logic
But life is not always logical!
Once I came to terms with this -as depressing as these realities are- the grimy cobbled streets in my abandoned street of confusion transformed into a warm open field: vibrant and alive. My misconstrued views had led me to believe that every circumstance would be of benefit to my situation. For example, if you don’t get the grades you want, it was because God didn’t want you to. Nah b, God wants you to excel, so if you didn’t get them, you simply didn’t get them. But maybe this ‘underachievement’ would open some of the doors that God had laid out for you.
So no, I do not everything happens for a reason that directly impacts your circumstance, but everything that does happen can have a direct impact on your character that may be in line with the plan that God has for your life. Make sense?
It’s not wrong for me as a Christian to believe that “everything happens for a reason”. But I have to remember that the reason affects me and not my situation. Besides, not everything I am permitted to believe is written in God’s word. For example, at no point in any of the 66 books did the Lord declare that Beyoncé Giselle Knowles Carter is the greatest to ever do it, but we all know that it’s true.
Life will throw challenges at you; you may question why not the next person and you’ll probably never find out why. But it’s the only life you’ll ever get. So fight through all of your obstacles. Become that better version of you. Make the most of every situation whether or not it has a reason attached to it!
All the best,