Everything Happens For A Reason… Or Does It?

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“Everything happens for a reason”: words spoken during your most desperate hour amidst sweet lies uttered to soothe your soul.

Engulfed in Frustration, Embarrassment, Agony and Regret, sometimes “a reason” can make the struggle worthwhile. “A reason” is the oxygen tank when you’re suffocated in confusion and this “reason” keeps your breaths steady when guilt creeps into your dreams.

We have a tendency to want to believe that everything in life has a purpose, including ourselves, and so even when things don’t make sense, we force them to just for the sake of temporary comfort. We numb our unwanted emotions with this drug called purpose and even get our loved ones to fuel our addiction when ‘coping’ starts to once again seem like a distant memory. After all, experience is the greatest teacher and experience comes every day whether we want it or not, so surely there are lessons attached.

The questions:

But why settle for Ms Trunchbull when you can have Ms Honey?

Take a minute to forget that “everything happens for a reason” and think about some of the horrible things that have happened to you. Were these experiences necessary?

Is it necessary to lose in order to gain?

Is it necessary to fall in order to rise?

Is it necessary to fail in order to succeed?

I started questioning and calculating how many possibilities there were that I could end up as the exact person I am today without all of the heartache and trauma. Was all of that suffering a part of God’s plan for me? Were these experiences crucial to making me, me? Buried in such questions, it was a lot easier to accept that everything did, in fact, happen for a reason!

For years I was bound by such reasons, but how foolish to be a slave to something other than the master. Phrases have a habit burying themselves into the deep soil of generations, being planted and harvested over and over to the point that they disguise themselves as biblical sayings. The truth is that my master, God, the author of the Bible, never uttered such words. So as a believer, where does this leave me?

Confused is where I first found myself. I can admit now that maybe believing that “everything happens for a reason” was simply a childish coping mechanism; a form of resistance to accepting two somewhat harsh realities.

1: Life is tough- it can be cruel and unfair

2: Life is its own being- we can’t completely control it and we can never fully understand it

I resided in confusion for a long ass time!

The definition:

Reason: the capacity for consciously making sense of things or applying logic

But life is not always logical!

Once I came to terms with this -as depressing as these realities are- the grimy cobbled streets in my abandoned street of confusion transformed into a warm open field: vibrant and alive. My misconstrued views had led me to believe that every circumstance would be of benefit to my situation. For example, if you don’t get the grades you want, it was because God didn’t want you to. Nah b, God wants you to excel, so if you didn’t get them, you simply didn’t get them. But maybe this ‘underachievement’ would open some of the doors that God had laid out for you.

My answer:

So no, I do not everything happens for a reason that directly impacts your circumstance, but everything that does happen can have a direct impact on your character that may be in line with the plan that God has for your life. Make sense?

It’s not wrong for me as a Christian to believe that “everything happens for a reason”. But I have to remember that the reason affects me and not my situation. Besides, not everything I am permitted to believe is written in God’s word. For example, at no point in any of the 66 books did the Lord declare that Beyoncé Giselle Knowles Carter is the greatest to ever do it, but we all know that it’s true.

Life will throw challenges at you; you may question why not the next person and you’ll probably never find out why. But it’s the only life you’ll ever get. So fight through all of your obstacles. Become that better version of you. Make the most of every situation whether or not it has a reason attached to it!

All the best,

Tisha x


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  1. August 3, 2017 / 10:01 am

    Excellent thoughts! Agree 100%. I get in trouble with my fellow Christians bc I wholeheartedly believe everything happens for a reason, but I still do – even if I can’t ever fully understand what the reason is. Great post!

    • TishaKimiira
      August 3, 2017 / 10:23 am

      It’s a difficult one- the main priority for me is to learn the lesson! Thank you so much for reading 💙

  2. August 3, 2017 / 10:19 am

    Dear Tisha, thank you for sharing this great article!
    From my point of view, every loss is a gain. We might think that we lose in that right moment, but in time, we realize it was the best thing which could happen to us.

    • TishaKimiira
      August 3, 2017 / 10:24 am

      10000% agree! There is always something to gain from every experience! Thank you for reading 💙

  3. August 3, 2017 / 1:05 pm

    I’ve always believed everything for a reason and let that impact my actions but this is a great post ❤️

    • TishaKimiira
      August 3, 2017 / 1:20 pm

      Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading 💙

  4. August 3, 2017 / 1:50 pm

    Same question I had 8 months ago, when family, friend, acquaintances told us everything happens for a reason, after a tragedy, does it really? If so why us? And what’s the reason? Does it really need to lose someone you loved so dearly? Does a tragedy necessary? Overtime, I learn to accept that if it’s not for you, it will find a way to slips from you. I believed that God will not give you something that you can’t handle. I believe that it is only a test, and one day when the right time come God will give you what you really need and want the most.

    • TishaKimiira
      August 3, 2017 / 8:29 pm

      Amen! I completely agree, everything is simply a test/lesson! All the best to you and your family with whatever you’re going through. God bless 💙thank you for reading!x

  5. August 3, 2017 / 1:57 pm

    Great point of view. I am in that stage of like where I’m not sure why things keep happening and that is my go to thought.

    • TishaKimiira
      August 3, 2017 / 8:29 pm

      Very easy to think that way- just remember to take note of the lessons. Thank you for reading!💙

  6. August 3, 2017 / 2:09 pm

    Great read! I definitely needed to see this after going through a rough patch this week. Inspires me to keep moving forward!

    • TishaKimiira
      August 3, 2017 / 8:30 pm

      Glad it was helpful! All the best! Thank you for reading 💙

  7. August 3, 2017 / 4:18 pm

    As of someone who has life coaching skills and as well as spiritual coaching and intuitive readings. I see your frustration and I can cover exactly why you feel this way, still the simple answer is everything that happens has a reason, in science this matter is very simple because it is one of the first facts nothing happens just because of nothing, there is always cause and effect… and in greater picture we may not understand the exact reason at the time and that doesn’t mean it is random. nothing is random in life everything is possibilities, yes it could have happened the other way but it happened the way it happened and sometimes we should not dig too much in because we loose the track of real reason which is being able to live the life we love while we are alive in this world. One of the issue I have noticed in religious people like Christians is that they mistake having faith with this universal law. you have a faith if something bad happen then it is for greater good. that is totally different concept 🙂 and respectable. And still it may sound similar but it is not , when we say something happened for a reason it means something triggered it, or some message is laying under that happening, you gotta accept it, acknowledge, and learn from it so you can shit in the future 🙂 and experience different possibility . wish you well in your life journey and thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences

    • TishaKimiira
      August 3, 2017 / 8:33 pm

      Thank you for reading! You’ve definitely made me think more about the use of the word reason. I agree- from a scientific perspective there will always be cause and effect and therefore a reason. But I think many, as you have said, confuse the reason with the outcome when analysing the situation in a religious sense. Thank you very much for your comment- provided some much needed clarification!

  8. Stephanie Jackson
    August 4, 2017 / 3:27 am

    Great read! Thanks for sharing your perspective on this! It’s definitely a good topic to discuss as believers

    • TishaKimiira
      August 4, 2017 / 3:28 am

      Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading 💙

  9. August 4, 2017 / 8:40 pm

    It’s good to get another point of view on the matter. I am from the school of thought that everything does happen for a reason and sometimes we never get to find out why. Your take on it definitely makes you look at it different.

    • TishaKimiira
      August 4, 2017 / 9:38 pm

      Thank you so much for reading! Glad I was able to share my perspective 💙

  10. August 5, 2017 / 6:22 am

    Great point and we do have a choice. Life is what we make it.

    • TishaKimiira
      August 5, 2017 / 7:33 am

      Agreed! Thank you for reading 💙

  11. August 6, 2017 / 7:02 pm

    “I can admit now that maybe believing that “everything happens for a reason” was simply a childish coping mechanism; a form of resistance to accepting two somewhat harsh realities.

    1: Life is tough- it can be cruel and unfair

    2: Life is its own being- we can’t completely control it and we can never fully understand it

    I resided in confusion for a long ass time!”

    I definitely agree with this. I think there is a general tendency for people to avoid negativity, which isn’t always practical. Now, I am not saying that we should open our arms to negativity and salsa dance with it, but there has to be some recognition of balance. There are things that are simply out of our control, and there is nothing wrong with that.

    I am someone who does believe that as long as we as individuals remain intentional with the decisions we make, there is a path or way that things unfold. BUT, only if YOU are putting in the work.

    • TishaKimiira
      August 6, 2017 / 7:20 pm

      Exactly! You have to put the work in! You can’t blame chance but you can’t go digging for unrealistic reasons either! Thank you so much for reading as always 💙

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