Staying Woke is Overwhelming

woke stay overwhelming blach history month behind the schmile

I’ll let you know right now that I won’t be ending this post with any tips or advice. I write this because I believe that it is important to stay woke, but I also place a high importance on self-care and I’m struggling to find a balance between the two.

Woke:

A state of perceived intellectual superiority one gains by reading The Huffington Post – Urban Dictionary

Getting woke is like being in the Matrix and taking the red pill. You get a sudden understanding of what’s really going on and find out you were wrong about much of what you understood to be the truth – Urban Dictionary

Having a high level of spiritual enlightenment. Seeing the truth with your mind’s eye, allowing you to reach higher consciousness – Urban Dictionary

Being socially aware – lil ol’ me 🙂

Read the most woke definition of woke there is here

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Source: giphy.com

You could say I was woke before being woke was a thing; I have always been intrigued by social injustice. My history class got me interested long before #StayWoke became a popular saying in the Twitter community. But learning about the social injustices of the past and waking up to them on a daily basis will have totally different impacts on your well-being. I want to know what’s going on in the world. I want to be educated enough to formulate my own opinions on situations. And I want to be able to understand why certain things happen to certain people and who is responsible. But I also want to be able to sleep peacefully without feeling so hopeless and useless. And it would also be great if I wasn’t constantly reminded of how cruel this world is.

So how do I do both?

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At one point I thought I had found the balance. Summer 2016 felt like a war on black people. These things happen every day; I’m not oblivious to that, but this period, in particular, took its toll on me. During this period I decided to prioritise my self-care over my ability to stay woke. I stopped reading the news, I filtered my timeline and I watched my favourite Disney movies. This kept me in my happy place, at least temporarily, but it also made me ignorant.

Back in April of 2017 I tried again. I was watching Shots Fired, Underground and The Kalief Browder Story every Thursday Night and I had almost desensitised myself. Watching these shows didn’t make me woke; neither did they highlight issues I wasn’t already aware of. But developing a routine where Thursday evenings would be dedicated to increasing my emotional instability made it easier for my heart to bear. So when another unarmed black person was shot outside of a TV-drama, I didn’t feel a thing. This time I wasn’t ignorant, and my wokeness wasn’t heightened, I was simply disconnected.

But of course, social injustice doesn’t begin and end with black people. My mental state with regards to the affairs of the world still needed help. So I did a very selfish thing and stopped watching/reading the news completely. But I’m a person that likes to know everything and so that didn’t last long.

Why bother?

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So here we are in October…

I’m still reading, watching documentaries, filtering out ridiculous conspiracy theory claims and paying too much attention to every little detail. Over time I guess my heart has learnt how to cope with the pain but it’s still there and I haven’t yet found a life-changing solution to all of the world’s problems. I’m still woke. But has there been any benefit?

I spoke about wanting to find a balance but fundamentally my intentions are selfish. Maybe there is no balance… Simple logic tells us that it’s impossible to be woke and asleep simultaneously. Ultimately, if I know what’s going on and still have a good night’s sleep, I won’t feel compelled to action. But I’m not a superhero, (yes this is me being selfish again), and I don’t want to be! Yet I can’t shake this constant battle in my mind where I feel somewhat responsible for doing my part.

Sometimes we just need to be or simply exist. But we can’t ignore what is going on around us…can we? I’m privileged to know some very interesting people: some who have dreams of changing the world and some who just want to change their own lives. I have the utmost respect and love for both of them. But I feel like I’m the only one stuck in the middle and quite frankly, staying woke is overwhelming!

A Solution???

As a final note, I will say this: staying woke and being happy are not mutually exclusive. A combination of time, meditation and isolation have taught me that the world will be what it will be. We as humans have the power to make an impact but we cannot change people’s hearts. Only God can do this. So although staying woke is extremely overwhelming, it is just another thing I have to hand over to the Father if I want to remain at peace with myself.

Stay Woke/Schleep/Happy (delete as you find appropriate),

Tisha x

#Schmile

Would you describe yourself as woke? If so, how do you maintain good mental health? Let me know in the comments!

  97 comments for “Staying Woke is Overwhelming

  1. Kita
    November 2, 2017 at 11:23 pm

    I’ve honestly stopped consuming all the info. It’s far to overwhelming. What I do is support local charities that care for our own. I also take my children to volunteer to say can see and learn about the world around them and the privileges they do have.

    • TishaKimiira
      November 3, 2017 at 12:01 pm

      It’s great that you’re doing this for your children!!! Thank you so much for sharing! Actions speak much louder than un-utilised knowledge! Thanks for reading 💙

  2. staciesayzso
    November 2, 2017 at 11:50 pm

    It’s tough. I feel like there’s so much going on in this world, seems like I’m taking the red pill in everywhere I go. My community, the grocery store. All I know is Jesus is coming y’all. Lbvs.

    • TishaKimiira
      November 3, 2017 at 12:02 pm

      He’a definitely coming😂thank you for reading!💙

  3. November 3, 2017 at 1:10 am

    Girl, just the title of this says it all. It’s literally so exhausting and there’s some new tragedy happening every day. It’s important that we slow down and remember that we take care of ourselves too. Thanks for sharing this!

    • TishaKimiira
      November 3, 2017 at 12:03 pm

      I hope it was helpful! Thanks for reading!💙

  4. cleverlychanging
    November 3, 2017 at 12:18 pm

    I don’t think balance about “woke” things exist. It’s just that you have to stay grounded so you don’t grow bitter as you learn the reality of the world.

    • TishaKimiira
      November 3, 2017 at 12:24 pm

      I’ve thought this myself several times tbh! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂 x

  5. November 3, 2017 at 2:52 pm

    I find myself conflicted with remaining socially aware and anchored in my spirtuality. The definitley conflict with one another. As being socially aware tends to trigger angry emotions while my spiritually bring me peace. It is a tough balance. This is an awesome blog post.

    • TishaKimiira
      November 3, 2017 at 8:05 pm

      Thank you so much for reading – I’m glad you could relate!!!

  6. November 3, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    First of all YES! Finding a balance can be a struggle. I want to be informed and I don’t want to accept this as normal and standard. Yet I have to protect my mental health and I can’t shoulder all of the injustice. It is tough, but like we always do we figure it out. I long for the day when we can be equal, hell I would take 80% of equality. We can start there.

    • TishaKimiira
      November 3, 2017 at 8:06 pm

      Haha it’s definitely a strong start! So glad I’m not alone! Thank you for reading luvie 🙂 x

  7. November 3, 2017 at 11:31 pm

    This is a great post! I agree, we should stay woke and aware, but we can also be happy and know that God is ultimately in control.

    • TishaKimiira
      November 4, 2017 at 12:05 am

      Happy to hear that you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading x

  8. November 6, 2017 at 11:57 pm

    I totally feel this!! ALL of this! I tell people all the time that you can stay woke but also protect your mental health.

    • TishaKimiira
      November 7, 2017 at 12:27 am

      Glad you can relate! Thanks for reading!

  9. November 7, 2017 at 1:29 am

    Preach sis! Trust me, I hear you. It often times becomes just extremely draining hearing one story after the next about our people being done wrong, at times I do want to tune things out with happier things like nice movies, similar to you. Taking a “break” from it all. I agree it’s weird, getting to the point of feeling kind of numbed to the pain associated with being “woke” and not knowing what to do and questioning if there is a way to do something and at the same time not feeling so emotionally or mentally beat up. Great post!

    • TishaKimiira
      November 7, 2017 at 8:56 am

      Thank you so much!!!!! I’m honestly so glad people have been able to relate!!! 💙

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