“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people”- Eleanor Roosevelt
- idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others
We all do it. As females, I’m convinced that it’s engraved in our DNA. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do anything to tackle it. The first step is admitting our faults in order to become more conscious and aware of when we slip up.
I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum- I’ve gossiped about people and I’ve been gossiped about. But I didn’t become aware of how much I gossip until I became so focussed on my own life- everytime I started saying something unnecessary about someone else, the warning bells started ringing in my head, reminding me of all the other things that needed my time and attention.
Think about it…
Do you have that one friend that you always gossip with? Make a deliberate effort to change the topic.
Do you have that one person you can’t stop talking about? Make a deliberate effort to get to know them more, then you might have a few less horrible things to say.
You don’t need me to tell you that this is wrong. You may not mean for it, but sometimes your gossiping can be extremely spiteful. Every minute you spend discussing the issues in someone else’s relationship is a minute you didn’t spend trying to repair the faults in your own. This goes for everything, we only have 24 hours in a day: once you’ve spent your time with God, looked after you skin, worked towards your goals and had enough to eat, you really shouldn’t have enough time left to discuss other people. There are so many flaws and traits that you need to work on that require your attention- focus on them!
“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?” Matthew 7:3
It is guaranteed that you’ve had your own share of struggles- life has come at you in different shapes and forms, sometimes good, sometimes bad. Regardless, you know how hard it can be to deal with this thing called life. So surely, it should cross your mind when you start to talk about the next person, that they too have struggles, that they too may have dealt with things that no one else will understand and that they too already have to deal with this thing called life that is difficult enough- why make it worse?
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29
In terms of addressing gossip, unless it’s absolutely necessary my advice is: don’t bother.
Don’t waste time feeding into the puny discussions people have about you when you know full well that they don’t know the full story.
If you feel that the issue needs to be addressed, contact the source directly.
I personally choose not to pay any mind to the things that are being said about me unless I know exactly who is saying these things as opposed to feeding off rumours. But this is rarely the case, and so instead, I make note of what has been said, assess whether there’s any truth to it and learn to limit how much of my life I expose and share with these people.
“Don’t tell me what they said. Tell me why they felt comfortable telling you”
Most importantly, don’t change who you are because of how other people treat you!
I saw this video on Instagram and I had to share! Enjoy!