We’ve been doing a lot of self-assessment, how we impact others is just as important. We’re all quick to pass blame and complain about what people have done to us, but what about how we may have hurt them? And we don’t always mean to, the same way they don’t always mean to offend us; but it’s worth thinking about how we can try and limit the negative impacts we have on those around us.
Here are a few questions for you:
- Do you burden your ‘friend’ with all of your problems? When you are close to someone it can be easy to tell them every bad thing that happens to you, and if they are your friend your stress will very easily become their stress. Yes, as your friend you should be able to vent and release stress to them, but not onto them, try and find other ways to deal with such emotions, you don’t want your friend to be feeling down as well. Try to limit your venting to situations you know they will definitely be able to help you with rather than having two hopeless and sad people.
- Do you manage to make yourself the focus of every conversation? If you manage to twist EVERY situation into a story about yourself then you’re doing it wrong mate, the world does not revolve around you. Simples. Learn to listen sometimes.
- Do you ever check up on them just because? If you don’t find yourself checking up on them every so often it’s probably because they aren’t on your mind and you don’t really care for them, however much you try to convince yourself otherwise… In such case, you probably only talk to them when you need something… not signs of a good friend.
- Do you genuinely feel happy for them when they achieve something? Are you just as happy if not happier than them when they receive good news, or are you wondering in the back of your mind how or why it didn’t happen to you… this is jealousy brewing.
- Do you put in 100% to help them out when they need it? Both when they ask and when they don’t? Part of being a friend, a good friend that is, is being able to tell when your friends desperately need you even when they don’t admit it- this is probably when they need you the most! Their priorities should mean a great deal to you, it’s a sign that you care for them, you don’t have to care about the actual matter, but as your friend, their concern is your concern.
- Do you support their decisions? Even if you don’t 100% agree? Tough love isn’t always the best way to deal with a person. You’ll know your friend better than anyone else and so it’s your call to make, but sometimes, especially when regarding a relationship, even if you feel your friend is making the wrong decision the best thing you can do is support them through everything and be there for them if things don’t work out. Your initial opinion might be right, but if it isn’t what they want to hear at the time things can start to go sour between the two of you.
- Do you respect their time? Do you take advantage of the fact that they are always there for you? If you can’t return the favour, then ummmmmmm *rings alarm bells*
Final question: would you be happy being friends with yourself???
I’d like to think you are all absolutely wonderful friends… But I hope this made you think a bit about how you behave towards your friends, we all make mistakes, best to catch them early and fix them 🙂